By Air Lainey
RECAP OF WEEK 5:
Here’s a picture that summarizes my reaction to getting 4 out of 6 correct, again:
Air Lainey beat Barry’s Team (right), Schwarzes Herz Dunk beat SavageHarden (right), Luke’s Grand Team beats the Ear-Blowers (right), Steve’s Swag Team beats Penny Hardaway Kicks (right), thabeet my meat beats Jacob P (wrong…sorry Alison), and Fight Me in da Paint beat Stanton’s Swag Team.
This week we will be focusing our attention on quotes of from the NBA in relation to each matchup this week.
Air Lainey vs the Ear-Blowers. Sibling rivalry. We know who wins this one, the slightly older, wiser sibling…me. As Kevin Durant once said, “I'm a basketball player. That's what I do and what I love but that's just not all who I am. I'm talented in a lot of different areas.” Better luck next time little bro.
We used to be cute.
Next up we have Schwarzes Herz Dunk vs Steve’s Swag Team. Steve is currently in first while Mr. Herz Dunk is in the middle of the standings board. I believe there will be a turnaround for Mr. Herz Dunk due to Lebron choosing to ditch his chalk toss. This is a major loss for all those who love chalk dust in their eyes before watching a game they paid a lot of money to go to and sit in the front. I think Schwarzes Herz Dunk will get the win over Steve’s Swag Team. As Dirk always says, “I don't think the Whataburger would dunk on the In-N-Out Burger, but I never really liked Whataburger or all the other burgers. McDonald's is decent, I guess, but no, the In-N-Out Burger kills them all.”…it doesn’t make sense, but I don’t care. In-N-Out always wins.
Next there is Barry’s Team vs SavageHarden. I have yet to pick either of you as a winner for your matchups. Unfortunately, there can only be one loser, so I’ll have to choose one of you to win. As Barkley once stated, “"I think that the team that wins game five will win the series. Unless we lose game five." I think one of you will win and I think that person will be SavageHarden.
Next up is Luke’s Grand Team vs Stanton’s Swag Team. Luke’s Grand Team is sadly for most of us doing very well. I will have to choose him to beat Stanton’s Swag Team. Although Stan might be bummed that Luke will beat him this week, I still think Stan’s philosophy on life is similar to that of Joakim Noah’s: “It's really important to have balance, spend some time in nature, go to a few parties, enjoy my friends and really chill out.”
Jacob P vs Penny Hardaway Kicks. I’m really rooting for you Tony. You have yet to win a game. Something’s gotta give. I’m glad that each week you are out there trying though. As Michael Jordan once said, “I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying.” So, here I am accepting your failure (as a fantasy basketball player, not in life). Jacob P gets the win.
Lastly there is Fight Me in da Paint vs thabeet my meat. I think Alison wins this one. Don’t ask me why, it’s just what I feel. As Shaq once said, “Some things you just can't question. Like you can't question why two plus two is four. So don't question it, don't try to look it up. I don't know who made it, all I know is it was put in my head that two plus two is four. So certain things happen. Why does it rain? Why am I so sexy? I don't know."