Sometimes, I will go to a movie. I only go to movies that I want to see. I have seen Deadpool.
Deadpool was a comic book. Now, it is also a movie.
Movies can be funny. They can also be serious. This one has violence and nudity.
I think this movie makes fun of the stupid X-Men thing, or maybe it is part of that universe. The point is that the X-Men movies sucked and they keep making more of them. Maybe they (people who are in the film industry solely for the purpose of making millions and millions of dollars) will realize that this huge comic book recreation kick that they are on is driving straight into a wall. Imagine when this last bastion of derivative work that sells eventually dries up. And it will.
I've seen the trailer for Batman vs. Superman. It looks absolutely stupid. If you want to see this movie, please go see it without inviting me. I will ignore your invitation.
Ryan Reynolds was great in Van Wilder. I laughed when his character talked about cumming in a womans hair as a form of contraception in Waiting. He has the best abs in Blade Trinity. Now, he's the anarchist superhuman who hates the tag "superhero" but loves breaking the fourth wall.
Speaking of fourth wall, I prefer Taco John's bean burritos to Taco Bell bean burrito. All the Baja Blast in the world won't ever convince me otherwise. The only fourth meal I appreciate is those Doritos tacos. I saw some people on the internet trying to eat a dozen Doritos tacos in 20 minutes and failing. I could totally do that. For reference, I have eaten an entire deep dish pizza by myself. Not impressed? I once ate four full meals and a coffee drink at The Nucleus in one sitting while Justin Vernon was sitting ten feet away eating one breakfast. How about them apples? Tyler Rogers once bet me $50 that I couldn't drink four Gold's Gym protein shakes in a row. That was the easiest $50 I ever made. At a local burger joint, I get their big "challenge" burger as my standard meal. It's three pounds! I once ate it in eight minutes. Another time, I ate it in 15 minutes and then had a peanut butter Oreo milkshake. The point is that fourth meal and a paltry 12 Doritos tacos ain't got nothing on me.
by Daniel Coughlin (@xvanwilderx)