Fantasy Basketball Weekly 12/15/14

by Air Lainey

Week 7 Wrap-Up

I’m hopped up on Dayquil right now. I’ve had a sickness that resembles a cold all week so this post could be interesting. I got 3 for 6 correct for Week 7. BUT I have some very important news to share at the end of this wrap-up so keep reading…

Air Lainey was defeated by Luke’s Grand Team, Jacob P beat Schwarzes Herz Dunk, Steve’s Swag Team took the victory over Barry’s Team, SavageHarden barely beat the Ear-Blowers, and Stanton’s Swag Team overpowered thabeet my meat for the win. Now for the big news…PENNY HARDAWAY KICKS WON THIS WEEK'S MATCHUP! This is huge news because we are now into Week 8 and Penny Hardaway Kicks had yet to win a game. Congratulations, Tony. I bet someone out there thought I was going to tell you I was pregnant…sorry we have not yet begun to breed, we are letting Tyler and Alison go first to see how it goes.

Week 8 Predictions: Sweet, Sweet Rhymes

A po-em, for each of you…


This week is the week I’m ready to go,

I play a crazy Brooklyn I know this fo’ sho’,

I am up against Stanton’s Swag Team,

But Air Lainey's triumph will be keen.


Schwarzes Herz Dunk plays Fight Me in da Paint,

This is a tough one since I feel that I could faint,

The Dayquil isn’t working so it’s time that I choose,

I think this is the week that the Paint man will lose.


Barry’s Team is up against Mr. Jacob P,

I’m not sure about this, but I love licorice-flavored tea.

This is the week Barry has been waiting for,

It will be close though, and shouldn’t be a bore.


Steve’s Swag Team’s in good shape and in first,

But could the Ear-Blowers win and quench its thirst?

This is improbable and I think Steve will win,

If this makes you sad go look at The Bin.


Luke’s oh so Grand Team takes on SavageHarden,

This will be a close one so don’t be a shartin’..

I think this is the week that Barker will prevail,

Luke do not be sad, at least you’re not in jail.


Penny Hardaway Kicks versus thabeet my meat,

This could be a nail biter so hold onto a teat,

This is the time that Alison will succeed,

And it’s time that I be done, I really need to feed.

Fantasy Basketball Weekly - 11/25/14

By Air Lainey


Well at least I’m consistent. 4 for 6 right again.

The husband ended up beating me, so that’s a total bummer...wait, not physically, just in the game of fantasy basketball. Schwarzes Herz Dunk beat Air Lainey (wrong), Luke’s Grand Team beat Barry’s Team (right), Stanton’s Swag Team beat the Ear-Blowers (wrong), SavageHarden beat Penny Hardaway Kicks (right), Steve’s Swag Team beat thabeet my meat (right) and lastly Jacob P beat Fight Me in da Paint (right).

Now for this week’s Thanksgiving week matchups. In honor of Thanksgiving, I’d like to recognize the mascots. They are way under appreciated and get no credit for being awesome. I’ll give you each a mascot that will correlate to how I think your fantasy team will play this week (I can already tell I’m going spend at least 45 min too long on this…).

Air Lainey (3-1) vs Barry’s Team (1-3)

Air Lainey’s mascot is Boomer the…cat? Barry’s Team’s mascot is Stuff the Magic Dragon. Stuff looks like he can fly and breathe fire, but I think Boomer may have some more talent.

Air Lainey wins this one.

Schwarzes Herz Dunk (2-2) vs SavageHarden (2-2)

Schwarzes Herz Dunk’s mascot is Benny the Bull and SavageHarden has Marv the Martian. They both have appendages on their heads, but Benny’s are sharper and will win it for Schwarzes Herz Dunk.


Ear-Blowers (2-2) vs Luke’s Grand Team (3-1)

The Ear-Blowers mascot, Moondog, is excited and playful while Luke’s Grand Team’s Rockin’ Astro is having a super groovy time. Sometimes being too excited can hurt your players…I predict Luke’s Grand Team takes the win on this one.

Steve’s Swag Team (3-1) vs Penny Hardaway Kicks (0-4)

Meet Rumble the Bison representing Steve’s Swag Team and Hugo the Hornet for the Penny Hardaway Kicks. Hugo is one of the best mascots, but had a bad experience once…Rumble is going to fumble his way to a win for Steve’s Swag Team.

Jacob P (3-1) vs thabeet my meat (1-3)

The Raptor is representing Jacob P’s team and Hooper is rooting for thabeet my meat. Hooper is way cool, but I think The Raptor seems extra motivated this week and will get the win for Jacob P’s team.

Fight Me in da Paint (2-2) vs Stanton’s Swag Team (2-2)

Wolf vs. Pug. Kind of a toss up between a wolf and a pug. Crunch the wolf is pretty vicious, but Claude the pug has some sort of stubbornness about it and I think will snort his way to a win for Stanton’s Swag Team.

So there you go. I based all of my predictions off mascots. I’m sure it will be completely accurate. I only made up three of these mascots. If you missed the story about the Hugo the Hornet, go back and look for the link. You’re welcome.

Editor's Note: You can say whatever you want about the Raptor, we all know that this is the truth about him: