Full-time adult jobs that provide stability, structure, and funds for your life can often get in the way of actually living how you want and experiencing your passions. And sometimes, you do everything in your power and go for broke trying to live that life regardless. Here is an example of my most recent attempt at achieving such a life.
As soon as the shows were announced, I had planned to attend the final BANE shows in Des Moines, Iowa on March 28 and in Minneapolis, Minnesota on March 29. However, my lovely boss denied my initial vacation request due to office politics – yada yada yada. Cue lots of whining via texts to friends and scrambling to figure out how to attend anyway. I decided I wouldn’t take no for an answer.
I went back to my boss to see if she’d give me at least one of the days – preferably Tuesday – because the thought of missing BANE in my home scene was too soul crushing to allow. She made me wait patiently for a couple of weeks before denying that request too. FUCK!
Thankfully, according to my friend Jerry, I’m persistent (perhaps also obnoxiously so). I went back to my boss a third time and asked if I could at the very least leave two hours early on Tuesday for a very important matter I was essentially required to attend to. She approved. Finally! REJOICE!
I immediately (one week before the show) booked a flight out of Chicago Midway for Tuesday at 5:06pm, landing me in Minneapolis at 6:44pm. On the day of the show, I had intense anxiety about the possibility of any delay standing in my way of seeing BANE one final time in Minneapolis. The cab ride straight from work to the airport had me in quite the mental tizzy. Finally, once I arrived at my gate right as the plane began boarding, I snapped this sweaty picture to send to Kristin in Toronto so she’d know I was on my way to live passionately. I arranged for my old high school friend and now Uber-driver friend, Kyle, to pick me up at the airport and race me over to the Triple Rock Social Club for the show that had already started at 5:00pm. I swear I didn’t stop sweating until right around 7:00pm when I arrived at the Triple Rock and was hugging the dudes.
About twenty minutes before their set began, Bobby and I had spoke in the bar about this tour being a celebration. That’s exactly how I wanted to view and treat it – like a graduation rather than a funeral. BANE went on just around 8:00pm and while I wasn’t ready, I tried my best to live in the moment and not allow myself to become absorbed in thinking about this being “the end.”
I smiled throughout the set, took some crappy photos and not as crappy videos on the ol’ iPhone, Snapchatted live moments to friends who couldn’t be there and posted “My Story” for friends who probably couldn’t care less, accidentally unplugged Zach’s gear for a brief time during Calling Hours (oops!), sort of stage dove for Count Me Out and sort of took Bedard down/out in the process (oops again!), participated in a circle pit for the first time in who freaking knows how long, “moshed,” sang along, threw my arms around older and newer friends during said sing-alongs, head banged a bit, and honestly enjoyed every second of it – Botchamania moments and all! I’m proud that I managed to only have a few, “Oh shit, don’t cry!” moments throughout the set.
To make up for my Calling Hours botch, transcribed below is what Bedard said just before the song:
“This song is about how this life can fucking turn real, real serious on you quick, and really put things into perspective when you start talking about life and death and you weigh that against the things that you truly think are important and what you’re worrying about and stressing about and causing petty little dramas over. This can get snatched from any one of us in the blink of a fucking eye, man. It could all go south and that’s just part of the design. There’s nothing more you can put on it other than you have this one life. Every day that’s yours, make of it what you can, try the best that you can. Johnny, thank you so very much for being here tonight, buddy! Love what you have while you have it. This song is called Calling Hours.”
The short night included lots of hugs with several very delightful people that I don’t see nearly often enough. It was great to spend a little time and catch up with old friends that were at the very first Minneapolis BANE show in April 1999. Big hugs to Johnny Versace and Ellen for always being so positive and inspiring! High fives to Jeff Frenette and his crew from Houghton, Michigan, and Nate Glover and his crew from Winnipeg, Manitoba, for making the fourteen plus hour round trip drive just for the show! It goes without saying but I appreciate your dedication. Awkward hugs to my brothers, Sean and Michael, for being rad and making me laugh. Thanks for the dinner, lil bro! More hugs/high fives to: Brooke and Dan T., TCFU crew (Jesse, Andy, Pete), Bert, Erin, Sara and Kyle, Dave and Emily, and Jen and Karl. It warmed my heart seeing each and every one of you.
BANE, I’ll see youse guys in Texas, Chicago, and Boston – my boss already approved my vacation requests. I look forward to sharing the passion, and these crowded rooms and moving moments again soon, while we still can. And in the words of Zach Jordan, this was “emo as fuck.”
by Caitlin Lipinski (@caitxedge)